Neurodivergent couples counselling
You love each other. And you also drive each other absolutely wild. Both can be true.
Maybe one of you has an ADHD diagnosis and the other is neurotypical, and you keep having the same argument about dishes/time/noise/overwhelm, and nobody feels understood.
Maybe you're both neurodivergent, and you're navigating two nervous systems, two sets of sensory needs, two ways of processing the world, and it's a lot.
Maybe you've just discovered that one or both of you is autistic or ADHD, and suddenly you're re-reading years of your relationship through a completely new lens. Some things suddenly make sense. Some things feel more painful now. And you're not sure where to start.
You don't have to figure it out alone. That's what I'm here for.
What neurodivergence does to a relationship (the honest version)
Neurodivergence doesn't cause relationship problems. But it does create specific patterns that can be really hard to break without understanding what's underneath them:
The ADHD partner forgets — again — and the other partner feels like they don't care. (They do. Their brain just works differently.)
The autistic partner needs routine and predictability; the other wants spontaneity. Neither feels met.
Sensory differences mean touch, noise, social events feel completely different to each of you — and neither knows how to bridge that gap without someone feeling rejected or blamed.
Emotional intensity and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) mean small moments of disconnection can feel catastrophic — and the reaction looks disproportionate to the person on the outside.
One partner has been masking for years, and now they're unmasking — and the person who fell in love with the masked version is adjusting too.
Executive function differences mean that 'just do it' is never as simple as it sounds, and the mental load is often desperately uneven.
None of this means your relationship is broken. It means you need a framework that actually fits.
How I work with couples
I use the Developmental Model of couples therapy; a compassionate, non-blaming framework that sees conflict as a growth opportunity rather than a failure. It's built around understanding each partner's needs, communication styles, and nervous system responses.
For neurodivergent couples, I weave in a deep understanding of how ADHD and autism shape communication, intimacy, regulation, and connection. We look at:
How each of your nervous systems works and how they interact
Communication differences and how to bridge them without either person having to mask
The impact of rejection sensitivity, emotional flooding, and dysregulation on connection
Rebuilding intimacy when masking or burnout has created distance
Practical tools for navigating daily life together; division of tasks, sensory needs, alone time vs. together time
Processing the diagnosis; whether it's one of you, or both, and what that means for your shared story
A note to the neurotypical partner
If your partner is neurodivergent and you're not, or you think you might not be, this space is for you too. I'll help you understand your partner's experience without excusing hurtful patterns, and help you find a way to be met in your needs as well. Good couples therapy is never one-sided.
You might be a good fit if...
One or both partners are neurodivergent (ADHD, autistic, or AuDHD)
You're in a mixed-neurotype relationship (one neurodivergent, one neurotypical) and the gap in experience is creating disconnection
A recent diagnosis has shifted the dynamic and you're trying to find your footing
You love each other but keep getting stuck in the same cycles and can't break out without help
